I just want to play batman. Why won’t you let me play batman?

Wanted to replay Arkham City after seeing the new Batman today. This is the crap I’ve had to do just to reinstall the game I own and have already finished.

Download ~16gig from steam. No worries, I deleted the local content, so I’ll wear that. Luckily I’d left it downloading a week ago and forgotten about it so it was already ready to play in Steam.

 

Run it… it reinstalls direct X that I’m sure was already there, and 4 other system updates.

 

Run it again… requires CD Key and online authentication before actually running the game startup screen… okay getting annoyed now but that’s ok, this is still kinda normal. Annoying, but normal.

 

Finally get to game screen – music is going, getting all ambient and awesome, batman posing on screen… hit ‘start’. Woo gonna play some batman!

 

Nope, MSN Live now wants me to sign in, it stopped the music and is sitting loading over the top of the sexy batman screen which lays dormant in the background. Waiting waiting waiting, sign in, need to remember my MSN Live ID because like most grown-ups I don’t use hotmail or MSN Messenger… okay surely this is it? Cool! We’re in! Batmaaaaaaan!

 

Oh, now MSN Live also needs the CD Key even though I already associated it with my account the last time I played? Ffs… alt tab, find key again, copy paste. Okay. Good. Let me in to the damn game.

 

…UPDATES TO MSN AVAILABLE, CLICK OK TO CONTINUE. YOUR COMPUTER MAY RESTART AS UPDATES ARE INSTALLED. WTF IS THIS I JUST WANT TO PLAY BATMAN. LET ME PLAY BATMAN.

 

MSN does something and then tells me to restart the game. Kicks me back to the game though and the game thinks I’ve cancelled using MSN Live and informs me I won’t be able to save, can’t unlock anything, and gives a confusing “yes / no” response option. Arrrrghhhhhhhh. Hit escape a few times, click “yes I damn well want to quit”, and it lets me go back to the desktop.

 

MSN starts auto-updating itself and seems to take it’s sweet doing so. Finishes abruptly, apparently lied about needing to restart. I start the game yet again, sitting through the unescapable opening credits.

 

Hit start. Decide games with splash screens are retarded, like 90’s era websites.

 

MSN wants me to sign in, because it’s forgotten the details I told it before when I also told it to remember my details. Arrrgh x 2.

 

Wait for it to download my profile, again…

FINALLY GET TO PLAY BATMAN.

 

Total time wasted: about 45 mins, not counting a few hours of the initial download.

Total frustration gained: I DON’T EVEN WANT TO PLAY IT ANY MORE.

 

Write angry blog post instead and go to bed.

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